Trump: “I Stared Into the Sun and the Sun Blinked”

President Donald J. Trump took to Twitter today to celebrate what his supporters describe as his superior fortitude and unmatched negotiating prowess, after staring down the sun during the eclipse on Monday.

“I stared into the sun and the sun blinked!”  Trump tweeted early this morning, “It just couldn’t look me in the eye.  So much for all this, so called, solar power! Sad!  #CoalRules #MAGA”

He went on to state that, after his easy defeat of the celestial orb, he felt a renewed vigor and enthusiasm for upcoming legislative battles.  “If the sun couldn’t face me, what are Cryin’ Chuck Schumer and Moanin’ Mitch McConnell gonna do?  #CantStopWinning,” he tweeted, and followed it shortly with “Who’s your daddy, sun?  If you can’t stand the heat, stay outta my orbit! Winning, that’s my energy policy!”

A total eclipse is a rare celestial event caused by the Moon passing directly in between the Earth and Sun.  This darkening of the sun was visible to a large portion of North America for the first time in 99 years.  Asked if the President was aware of this event, long ago predicted with pinpoint accuracy by the scientific community, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said “The, so called, total eclipse was nothing more than a conspiracy by liberal scientists and the fake news media, designed to literally throw shade on this Administration.  Once again, the President has shown that his is more than equal to this challenge.  He stood up, unblinkingly, for the American people and proclaimed, once and for all, that this Administration will not be swayed by Science!”

During a Q and A session at a gathering of top fossil fuel industry executives, EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt was asked for comment on the controversy, which Fox News is already calling “Eclipse Gate.”

“It is patently absurd,” Pruitt said, “This, so called, Scientific consensus would have us believe that the Earth somehow revolves around the sun. when we all know that the Creator placed Donald J. Trump at the center of the universe and everything revolves around him.  This is the President’s firm belief and he will not have it any other way.  These eclipses come and go but I am here to tell you that, with the help of the products produced by my good friends in the industry, we can arrange to blot out the sun for the whole country, not just some lucky few states.  And the President’s environmental policies will do just that.”

On the strength of the President’s comments, stock prices for Solar Energy companies have plummeted, but what effect this will  have on other alternative energy offerings is unclear.  In the words of one investor, “I am now going to heavily invest in wind power, because this President is certainly full of hot air.”

 

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Leaked Transcripts Obtained of Voices in Donald Trump’s Head

Leaked documents, made utilizing the latest NSA technology, have revealed the details of President Donald J. Trump’s conversations with his most trusted advisers.  The documents detail, over a period of several weeks, discussions that have taken place exclusively in the head of the 45th President.

“It’s amazing to see how engaged the President is in these conversations,” said an analyst familiar with the contents of the documents, which were sent to several news outlets, including GuyFromCNY, “I mean, there is this narrative out there that, due to his age, the President might be having difficulties with focus and adapting to changing circumstances.  My analysis of these transcripts soundly refutes that assertion.  In fact I can state that, in terms of creating pure fantasy, the President has all the mental dexterity of an 8 year old.”

The transcripts detail an effusively congratulatory call from Michael Surbaugh, President of the Boy Scouts of America, praising the President’s speech before that organization’s National gathering, as well as a phone call from the President of Mexico, complimenting Trump on his immigration policies.

“I think this proves, once an for all, that those conversations happened exactly as the President related them, just not in the specific sense of reality as the rest of us understand it,” said an anonymous source, speaking from behind a shrubbery.  “Thank God, by the way, that I will no longer have to answer questions like these.  Well, Sanders, see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!”

Also present in the transcripts are a series of conversations with a person that Trump refers both  as “Steve” and as  “Master.”  Experts are, at this time, trying to use contextual clues to identify this person from conversational fragments such as:

Trump: So Steve, uh…Mooch says you are always trying to…you know…um, suck your own…you know…  So…uh..how do you do that?

Steve: It helps not to have tiny hands.  Now tell them to build the damn wall.

As of this writing, however, this mysterious Steve remains unknown.

Other surprising discoveries contained in the transcript include the musical soundtrack which appears to accompany all of the President’s deliberations. The Coasters’ 1959 hit “Charlie Brown”, with its memorable refrain “Why’s everbody always pickin’ on me” appears to be playing, on a loop, with Randy Newman’s “Short People.” Asked about this odd combination of musical influences, senior policy advisor Stephen Miller said, “I’m not going to talk about that. Wait, that actually helps.”  He then scribbled out a few lines in a notebook saying, “What do you think about this?  ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your English speaking engineers yearning to be free.  As long as they are not brown or short or otherwise objectionable.’  Perfect, right?  You better say it is perfect!”

Over the last two weeks the President has, in his mind, signed major legislation repealing and replacing Obamacare, hand built a border wall with Mexico, utterly eliminated Isis, scored an approval rating north of 40% and, most unlikely of all, finally earned the approval of his father. He also went for several exhilarating rides on a red white and blue unicorn named Maga.

One thing is notably absent from these transcripts, however.  Nowhere in this vast trove of information is any indication of meetings with Russian agents or officials.  Asked to explain this surprising discrepancy, one administration official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “The meetings in the transcripts are all imaginary.  The Russian ties are very, very real.”

 

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Sean Spicer Officially Requests Return of Soul

Citing breach of contract, former press secretary Sean Spicer today filed paperwork requesting the return of his immortal soul from his dark overlords, sources say.

“Certain promises were made to me as conditions of taking the job,” Spicer wrote in a confidential affidavit, leaked to the press this afternoon.  “I was to be the center of the White House communications operation.  I was to have a prime slot on the television networks, a direct pipeline to the latest, most accurate, disinformation, complete control over messaging, and conveniently located shrubbery for hiding behind when things got difficult.  For these privileges, I agreed to give up my integrity, my reputation among my peers and, as is standard practice for this administration, my soul for all eternity.  I was, of course, happy to do this.”

“But absolutely crucial to this position,” the affidavit continued, “was my direct relationship with the President and his Satanic handlers.  I cherished every moment with that charming, unpredictable little petulant blowhard and expected our camaraderie to extend through the millennia as we burned in the unquenvhable flames of hell together. The President’s appointment of Anthony Scaramucci as my new boss, fundamentally changes that contractual relationship.  A man can, after all, only serve one unholy master, and to be asked to do more is outside the scope of my agreement.  It is with a heavy heart that I must, therefore, resign my position as press secretary.  I may not ever be able to regain my good standing in the journalistic community or indeed ever be able to look at myself in the mirror again, but I believe I can at least reclaim my soul and related properties due to this clear breach of contract.”

The affidavit, which was CC’d to both Satan and Steve Bannon at the same address, was attached to a standard IRF, or Infernal Release Form, prepared at the behest of Spicer’s new attorney, Daniel Webster, esq. If approved, Spicer’s Soul should be returned to him after 40 days.

There is some precedent for members of Republican administrations regaining there souls after leaving their positions, with Former Nixon aide John Dean being perhaps the most prominent, and most legal experts are confident that Spicer will be able to spare himself from eternal damnation.

“It’s not like these contracts are exactly hard to break,” said Ben Shuyster, an attorney with an impressive history of legal action against deities. “Granted there are a lot of top notch attorneys in hell, but they are mostly too distracted to do their best work.  This is only the prince of darkness we are dealing with.  It’s not like we’re trying to break a Trump prenup, or anything.”

If Spicer is successful in obtaining salvation, others in Washington will be lining up to try their hand at escaping their own eternal endlsvement.  Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is said already to have prepared his forms.  Shuyster, however, feels that Ryan faces a more uphill battle.

“I’m not sure Ryan has much of a case.  There is not much protection available when lack of a soul is a pre-existing condition.”
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How We Spent Our Summer Vacation

By M.J. Frost (mjfrostbitten@gmail.com)

You may have noticed that several weeks passed between our Trump 4th of July article and this week’s entries. No, thankfully, we hadn’t been dragged away by a rabid pack of “patriotic” vigilantes. “Guy” and I both needed some time away from our keyboards, so we planned and enjoyed a little vacation.

It wasn’t exactly rest and relaxation, though.  I think you’ll agree it was time well spent.  We…

  • Visited the set of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” to find out why Mika Brzezinski still hasn’t paid us for the plastic surgery we performed on her last Christmas.
  • Met with representatives of the Russian government who had promised us damaging intel on The Onion.
  • Attempted to pick up our order of Mesopotamian Cuneiform bathroom tiles from Hobby Lobby.
  • Suffered excessive weight gain as a result of the staggering number of beers consumed while playing “Trump Twitter” drinking game.
  • Attempted to lose the weight with a strict diet of “nothing burgers”
  • Distributed fidget spinners to U.S. Senators for use at their healthcare bill meetings.
  • Lost sleep from drinking too much covfefe
  • Made shadow puppets behind Sean Spicer during White House media briefings.
  • Pranked various Chick-Fil-A restaurants by attempting to order a specialty “Big Cock” sandwich.
  • Ordered several containers of televangelist Jim Bakker’s “Survival Food.” Told him the thousands of Syrian refugees waiting outside his studio are grateful.
  • Stole Ann Coulter’s seat.
  • Tweeted out key lines from the Sermon on the Mount. Waited for Trump fans to call us snowflake socialists.
  • Abandoned our plan to repeal and replace the Trump Administration, declaring we will instead just sit back and “let it fail.”

Whew, that was exhausting! Glad we’re back.

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Breaking News: In a Shocking Breach of Protocol, Republican Lawmakers Do No Evil Today

In a shocking departure from longstanding tradition, Senate and House Republicans have, as of this writing, not committed any evil acts or issued any vile statements since sunrise this morning.  Furthermore, sources close to the leadership have revealed that there is no loathsome activity scheduled for the rest of the day.

This absolutely unprecedented pause in hateful behavior has many of the party rank and file concerned about the future direction of the party and, specifically, their roles in the GOP’s horrid agenda.

“It’s just frustrating,” said one Republican representative, speaking on condition of anonymity, “My day was supposed to begin by submitting a proposal to take food stamps from children, followed by a lunchtime NRA rally at Sandy Hook.  Then I was to cap it off with a night of defending Trump’s tweets on cable news. Then the word came down to “slow things down” and, before you know it, I’m cooling my heels at home, trying to amuse myself with a magnifying glass and some insects..”

Though he remains loyal to the Party’s stated goals of promoting oligarchic fascism at the expense of the welfare of their own voters, this representative says it is often hard for an ambitious politician to follow the, arbitrary and capricious rules of civility sometimes hinted at by leadership.  “I suppose the idea is to keep them guessing,” he said, barely disguising his distaste at the prospect.  “But my voters are expecting a much more direct approach.  How am I supposed to get in front of a primary challenge if I am not allowed to express my truly reprehensible nature in every statement and action?  All this head fakery may be fine for the speaker or for McConnell but if I wanted to masquerade as a reasonable minded defender of common man, only to tragically disappoint them later, I should have just become a Democrat.”  He visibly shuddered at this prospect.  “Let’s hope it never comes to that.”

The lack of offensive vitriol issued from the highest levels of power in Washington, has not gone unnoticed by the public.  Ratings for the Fox News Network have cratered in the absence of inflammatory rhetoric to be echoed by every host and correspondent.  “This is extremely troubling and dangerous to the bottom line,” said Bill Shine, Co-President in charge of programming for the Cable News giant. “If the leadership in Washington doesn’t soon provide us with freshly galling material to parrot, our advertisers will not be happy.  I mean, how are we supposed to fill 24 hours of outrage without some guidance from the Washington bad idea factory?  Are we supposed to make up this stuff ourselves.  I’m sorry, but we are not that clever.  Without some help, we will be forced to do the unthinkable:  Report the news, without any commentary.  And who wants to watch that?”

Though things currently look grim for his noxious agenda, House Speaker Paul Ryan was quick to state that the pause in nefarious activity is only a temporary one.  “Mitch (McConnell) and I just needed to push the pause button for a minute so that we could more carefully align our separate sinister strategies.  After all, it takes more than one hammer to effectively nail the American people.  But, working together, we can be the tools that really ruin the experience of American Democracy.  And I think that is a thing worth doing.”

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell could not, it seems, agree more.  “My esteemed colleague Mr. Ryan clearly has his heart in the wrong place, which is all I can ask,” McConnell said.  “This, temporary pause in pernicious protocol is just what we need to recharge our batteries for our next assault on human decency.  We have a lot of work to do.  It isn’t enough, for instance, merely to kick millions of people off their health insurance.  It is also incumbent on us to make that insurance worse for the people who still have it.  It is not enough to ignore evidence of Russian interference in our electoral system.  We must also tacitly encourage it, so long as it suits our unwholesome needs.  And most importantly, it is not enough to simply support this ignorant man-baby who is our President.  It is our solemn duty to goad him on to even more egregious actions!”

Both Ryan and McConnell are clear that this unexpected respite from ruinous behavior will end almost as quickly as it began.  In a joint statement to the press, they announced that both deliberative bodies will be back in action tomorrow, with a full slate of deplorable policy initiatives.  “If you thought this healthcare plan was evil,” Ryan said, flashing his most winning smile, “Wait till you see what the next one looks like.”

 

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Review: Trump Nation celebrates the 4th of July

By M.J. Frost (mjfrostbitten@gmail.com)

Happy 241st Birthday, America! People of all political, social and economic backgrounds took time July 4 to mark the anniversary of the nation’s formal severance from British imperial rule.

While many Americans attended parades, grilled hot dogs and enjoyed colorful fireworks displays (or perhaps hosted their own), Trump Nation marked its first Independence Day by achieving some of its own firsts.

President Donald Trump forwent the traditional American patriotic songs enjoyed by generations, introducing us instead to a song that celebrates, well, himself. “Make America Great Again” was performed by a Dallas-based church choir.

GuyFromCNY has learned that another Trump-inspired song is in the works for next year. The story is inspired by descendants of former immigrants who are now extending a greeting to incoming and aspiring immigrants. The lyrics are:

“This is our country, not yours.

This is our country, not yours.

Jesus knows we’re right,

‘Cause our Jesus is white.

This is our country not yours.”

Trump nation also staged several events in foreign cities, including London and Paris to celebrate the universal peace achieved since Trump, using his secret 30 day plan, had eliminated Isis some 135 days before the 4th.

Meanwhile, Trump nation took great exception Thursday to what they dismissed as a direct attack on their worshiped president. It was National Public Radio’s annual reading of the Declaration of Independence, which was also tweeted in segments by NPR’s official account.

Trump himself, on Twitter, dismissed the posting of the Declaration of Independence as “fake news,” writing: “Who talks with big words and sentences like that? Losers.”

In other news, Republican supporters on Capitol Hill were reportedly investigating whether the opening line of the U.S. Constitution, “We the People, in order to form a more perfect union,” was possibly a hint of a rumored coup attempt against the U.S. economy by organized labor.

They also noted that the passage referring to “promotion of the general welfare” sounded too socialistic and should be viewed as a direct attack on the Senate healthcare bill.  They recommended the removal of this language from the document, along with that of the troublesome First Amendment, just as soon as Justice Kennedy can be persuaded to retire.

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GuyFromCNY Exclusive: White House Summer Reading List

By M.J. Frost (mjfrostbitten@gmail.com)

In order to mark the beginning of the summer season, the White House this week surprised the press corps by releasing what was identified as a “summer reading list” featuring entries submitted by many members of the Administration, including President Donald Trump, and others with close ties to the White House.

It did not come without controversy, as Trump complained about the timing of the list’s release on Twitter: “The fake news media are calling it the start of summer. Anyone with credibility knows summer begins on Memorial Day weekend…”

He continued: “…when mattresses are in bloom. Just like anyone knows Fall starts in August, when pumpkin spice lattes go on sale. Sad fake science. Disgrace!”

Nonetheless, Trump led the reading list with six entries. Here are the entries submitted, some of which include side notes in parentheses:

President Trump

  • Art of the Deal
  • My smartphone
  • A Penthouse Letter Compendium
  • The transcript of my first cabinet meeting (twice daily)
  • The electoral college map (eleven times daily)
  • Hillary’s Emails

Vice President Pence

  • The Stepford Wives (a how-to guide)
  • The Handmaid’s Tale (also a how-to guide)
  • Text of the 25th Amendment

Chief White House Strategist Steve Bannon

  • Mein Kampf
  • Fahrenheit 451
  • Tips and Tricks of Puppetry

Presidential Advisor Stephen Miller

  • The Constitution and Other Historical Oddities
  • How To Control Your Blood Pressure

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson

Gazprom annual report and prospectus

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos

(entry left blank with no explanation)

White House Spokesman Sean Spicer

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Editor’s Note: GuyFromCNY has since learned he may not read it, but instead may simply hide behind it)

EPA Director Scott Pruitt

How To Build an Ark

Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue

Hardee’s menu (note reads “please forward to Betsy for school lunch initiative”)

Secretary of Energy Rick Perry

  • The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Nuclear Energy
  • Gazprom annual report and prospectus
  • I forgot the third thing

First Lady Melania Trump

  • Wuthering Heights (hand-written note included with list reads “one can dream”)
  • How To Break a Prenup, by Ben Shuyster, Esq.

First Daughter Ivanka Trump

IvankaTrump.com summer catalog

White House Counselor Kellyanne Conway

IvankaTrump.com summer catalog

Miscellaneous members of the Trump Cabinet

Federal Witness Protection Agreement

Mitch McConnell Announces Zombiecare Initiative

After weeks of speculation, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell today released details on his, much anticipated, Senate version of the AHCA.  Defying all expectation, the bill will not be an austerity based, budget hawkish, program but will instead rely on a revolutionary new treatment protocol.

“This pill will make all the difference for hundreds of millions of Americans!” McConnell said, holding aloft a small, green tinted, capsule, as he addressed a small gathering from the steps of the Capitol building.  The new drug, produced via a partnership between Bristol-Meyers Squib and the CDC, will, according to McConnell, provide the solution for all known medical problems.

“We asked ourselves, what group of our citizens have the absolute least need for expensive medical care,” McConnell said.  “The answer is, of course, the dead.  But very few people actually wish to be dead.  With this revolutionary treatment, the American people can have the best of both worlds.”

McConnell went on to explain that after only one dose of the drug, known as “Putrifican,” patients would go to sleep, cease all healthcare requiring processes, and awake, three days later.  They will then be able to go on with all of the most important aspects of life such as going to work, texting emojis, and watching reality TV.

“And they will never, repeat, never, need healthcare again!” McConnell said, grinning from ear to ear.  “The savings will be incredible!”

The treatment, which has been in development since late 2010, has already shown astounding results during various testing phases.  McConnell was able to cite many success stories for the protocol, including the voting record of his home state of Kentucky and the continued box office success of the “Transformers” series.

Asked about the tremendous secrecy surrounding the development of this plan, McConnell said, “That’s just good entertainment.  Gotta keep them guessing.”  He allowed himself a small, self-satisfied, chuckle.  “Bet those Democrats never saw this coming.  When they called it ‘Zombiecare’ they just had no idea.”

Asked about the many concerns citizens might have about the quality of life or, more appropriately, death for the hundreds of millions who would undergo this treatment, McConnell was very direct.  “Just put a smartphone in their hands,” he said, ” and I guarantee you that no one will be able to tell the difference.”

Asked for White House comment on the controversial protocol, deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said.  “Brains….Brains….Eat Brains….”

When pressed on the likelihood that the American people would accept this radical solution, McConnell admitted that there might be some resistance, but praised the work of the President in pointing the way forward.  “I admit, the Democrats might take issue with this,” McConnell said, “but the Trump voter will swallow anything we tell them to.”

 

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Commentary: The Uncomplicated Politics of Hate

I’m finding it very hard to be funny lately.  Now I know that some, maybe many, of you will say that I struggle to be funny on any given day, but this is about more than my questionable skills as a satirist.  It’s about coming to that dreaded place where I can’t find a reason to laugh about anything.  That place is a dark place.

Last week, a lone nut gunman opened fire on a congressional baseball practice, seriously wounding one Republican congressman and injuring five other people before he was gunned down by Capitol Police.  This mass shooting, like all the other, depressingly frequent, incidents in recent memory, is a horrifying and hateful act.  But this one comes with the extra baggage of political divisiveness far beyond the usual pro-gun/anti-gun rhetoric.  This appears to have been an assault intentionally targeting Republicans and the unbalanced loon who did it identifies with my side of the great political divide.

The amplified echoes of Paul Ryan and Nancy Pelosi’s joint call for softening of partisanship were still ringing in the air when Republican pundits began blaming the political left for the actions of one, clearly unhinged, individual.  While Representative Scalise lay in critical condition at an area hospital, the echo chamber picked up the signal and, within a few short hours, social media and cable news were spelling out a new narrative.  The terrible events of the morning were now an indictment of liberalism and our supposed penchant to foment hatred and disrespect for our sacred political institutions.  This was all pretty rich coming, as it did, from the party that celebrated birtherism and “2nd Amendment solutions,” but sadly, I fear, effective nonetheless.  With no time for reflection, tragic events were weaponized for political advantage.  This is both shameful and completely unsurprising.  I think it is time to really ask why?

Just a few short weeks ago, a GOP congressional candidate physically assaulted a reporter for having the unmitigated gall to be a reporter.  The candidate was cited by law enforcement for misdemeanor assault and then promptly went on to easily win the election.  There was much outrage on the left, mild censure from the right and, disgracefully, a troubling undercurrent of glee.  Bubbling not that far below the surface was a sense that this reporter got no less than what he deserved, as if a body slam was just desserts for asking a policy question of a man seeking national office.  And I ask again, why?

Or, to put it another way, do we really hate each other as much as it seems? Is that, at long last, the result of the decades of vitriol, delivered, for tremendous profit, around the clock and in every form of media?  Have we, once and for all, passed beyond the realm of honest differences, and into the murky twilight of mutual abhorrence?  Have we, in short, gone from disagreeing with to despising each other?

This shooter’s horrendous actions, while clearly the product of an extremely disturbed mind, were fueled by hatred.  That’s clear.  The assault on the reporter and the resultant response was motivated by hatred as well.  The response to neither of these things has been what it should be in a rational society.  That is the problem I fear far more than the actions of a few rogue elements.  This, now reflexive, urge to go directly to a place of hate may be the greatest danger to our civil society that I have ever known.

The politics of hate are the default setting in Washington and the tinder for the raging dumpster fire that is cable news and social media.  It isn’t hard to see why, when you think about it.  When your livelihood is based on getting the most attention, you are not going to do that by being mild mannered and thoughtful.  And how good are your re-election chances if you preach conciliation and your opponent preaches fire and brimstone to be rained down on the other side of the aisle?  Getting re-elected is, after all, the only thing that matters.  Isn’t it?

Reasoned discourse isn’t good television.  Bomb throwing is, even the rhetorical kind.  You simply can’t have a satisfying drama without the presence of an implacably evil enemy, usually one that must be destroyed at all costs.  In the good old days, such big screen villains were usually hostile foreign powers.  As our screens have gotten smaller, and our attention spans shorter, we have created villains who are no less evil, but much closer to home.  Perhaps right next door.

It’s the worst part of human nature.  We need someone to blame.  It is much simpler to direct our anger at the various uncomfortable circumstances in our lives, towards some person or class of people rather than try to tackle the invisible market forces that are dragging so many of us down.

And so we learn, with much coaxing from our various sources of media, to hate one another.  I guess it is only natural.  Hate can be very satisfying.  It is certainly not complicated and the world is an increasingly complicated place.  To hate is to dehumanize the hated and thus remove all possibility of empathy for their problems. Hate make it alright not to care what happens to them.  But hate is easy, and the problems that face all of us are not.

The dark comfort of hatred is tempting, but it is ultimately futile and dangerous.  In some, extreme, circumstances, hate leads to terrible events but, mostly, it is simply unhelpful.   It may make us feel better, especially when our side of the great hatred divide is transcendent, but ultimately hatred is nothing more than a barrier to progress.  It is why, I believe, our political system no longer functions, essentially, at all.  We have demonized our opponents to such a degree that we have lost all perspective.  You , after all, do not wish to negotiate with those you hate.  You must defeat them utterly.  But in this mad desire to win at all cost, we have forgotten the principal truth behind the idea of good governance.  For change to be real and lasting, everybody has to win a little bit.  Nobody gets exactly what they want, but everybody gets something they can live with.  That’s real progress.  Otherwise it is simply a series of short term victories or losses, doomed to be reversed by the next election cycle or the next. Or it is complete gridlock.  Neither is good for the nation.

I don’t pretend that any of us, except, perhaps, Buddhists and members of the clergy, are above this tendency toward hatred.  In recent months, I have had reason to think about this deeply and to realize how much I am guilty of it.  I truly find the policies pursued by our current breed of Republican politicians to be so truly hateful that it is difficult not to hate those who voted to see those policies enacted.  But, the fact is, I know a lot of those people and they are not, by and large, hateful.  They are, in fact, people who want many of the same things that I do.  I have never, for instance, met a single person who actually felt that anyone should not have access to the healthcare that they need.  I have never met anyone who feels that a single person should ever starve to death in the street.  What they don’t see, however, is a way to tackle those problems in a manner that doesn’t make life harder for them than it already is.  That is certainly something I can understand.  I just wish there were a healthier way to approach these issues than this poisonous system allows.

So I am going to make an effort to hate less.  I won’t stop speaking my mind and I certainly won’t stop satirizing the powerful, at least as soon as I can find something funny again. But I will try not to lose perspective.  I hope others can find it in themselves to do the same.

As for the failings of our political system, that is a question that many people, far smarter than me, can find no solution for.  I would suggest however that, as Americans all, we need to stop rewarding hate.  Seems like a pretty good basic political philosophy.  It’s far easier said than done of course.  The incentives are not in our favor and the only real tools we have are our votes and our attention.  Maybe I’ll click on a few less links that stir up my partisan animosity.  Maybe I’ll click just a little less in general and spend some of that attention time on interacting with other people.  It’s a lot harder to hate someone, once you get to know them a little as a person.

The voting thing is a little more complicated.  Our choices are not always that great.  In fact, they are usually not great.  I’m going to vote against hate in any way that I can.  Maybe, if we collectively find ways to take the hot air out of the system, good candidates will have a chance.  Maybe that is unrealistic, but I’ve had enough of reality for this week.

 

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